Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
