The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
