i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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