Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
...so i touched it.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Randomize
