Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
