Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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