you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
