Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
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I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize