Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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