Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
