is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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