I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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