Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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