ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
