if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
