She's JV to your varsity
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
