Joe is yelling at the trees again.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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