the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize