Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
