i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
