Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize