Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
