she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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