Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
