You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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