week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
