i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
