he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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