Need sex. Gaining weight.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
