for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
My pussy is not your playground.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
