I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
