I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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