So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
