so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
