Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
