no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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