sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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