We need to rekindle our bromance
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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