You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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