I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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