at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
