hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
you would pick up someone in the library
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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