So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
