That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
