Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
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