I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
