my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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