my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
