Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
