Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
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The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
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I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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