i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
