Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
