I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
