If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
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