Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
