I wannas sexs uuuuu
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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