i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
