If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?