I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I think I sprained my soul last night
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.