Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough