garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
