i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
