I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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