There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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