Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
