then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
