i wish there were pregnant emoticons
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
did i just pee glitter
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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